Life as a Teen

Im 15, goin on 16, 10 days from now.  Excited, not sure, i really dont wanna grow up,get old, and die.  I have too major fears.  Ones death, the others the end of the world.  Im going to heaven but its really hard to emagine leaving earth and not being able to come back. Then what? I want to live life to the best of my abilities, which isnt enough. Im over protected right now, and its really hard to be a teenager.  I feel like im in jail or something, where you dont get to hangout with your friends alot. My lifes put on hold, at least until i turn 18 and then im free.  Then what? Im scared of going into the real world. Im still treated like a little girl that i have no idea on how to survive on my own. How can i be a responsible teenager, when i never get a chance to prove it to them? They let one bad incident that happened, control my everything i do now. I dont see why. The inocident could have went many ways, but i made the right way, yet still get punished? No, thats not fair. I was RESONSIBLE, i stood up for myself. I didnt let peer presure take me away like most teens do....I step into my parents shoes all the time, i see what they mean. But they just have to step in mine, for at least a day. Then step into another teenagers. See if they see a difference, i know they will. Im not alowed to date. I currently lost a perfectly good boyfriend because my parents refused to meet him. And now hes gone forever. Whos gunna want a girlfriend who cant even hangout with them? The answers... no one. No one wants me and I dont blame them. Im SICK of being treated so small of myself. Its bad enough not being able to get along with my parent. Its been this way for as long as i can emagine it. Then when i express my feelings, all i get back is "well i had it alot worse". I DONT CARE! That was then, and this is now. Things have changed, wheather you want to believe it or not. While im sittn here fighting with one parent, the other one wont let me grow up! "Your my baby girl" Baby girl or not, i need to grow up, NOW. My life makes me sick.  People call me spollied, prolly is true, but im also too over protected. GOD MADE POLICEMEN YOU KNOW. They are here for everyones safety! Including me! All parents great scared  at first when they let there kids have fun, i wonder if he/shes drinking. They then stop the worrying because they trust their child. Why cant mine trust me. Ive never put the thought of drinking or smoking in my head like that. My reputation is GREAT at school. Im not called a hoe or a slut because people now im not. Im 15, and ive kissed one boy, on the cheak. You wanna know why? Because Im a VERY shy girl. You wanna know why? Because all mi life Ive lived in a cage. Im not worried about kissing boys tho, thats last on my list. Im worried about the rest of life. How different and hard its going to be for me. I dont know what else to say, so im going to end it here. Ill blog again soon, hopefully in a happier tune.